Now, all grown up, I often ask why me in the context of wonder, amazement and awe.  I live for the awe. Im an addict for the awe; my drug of choice is the awe of unique experiences that I never imagined I would live.  The things Ive experienced negative and positive over the last decade have been a gift from above.

So grateful I am for the privileges Ive received, I find myself, in short, finding myself.  My horizon once was limited to the dirt under my feet and the pain from my past.  I lived in a dark life, 18 years of mostly clouds and rain.  The last 10 years are bliss in comparison.  The highs seem to get higher and the lows arent really the lows that I used to know. Ive had many challenges mostly self inflicted since then, but none like I used to know.  

Awe experiences are those moments where you take a step back and reflect on where you are and why.

The questions of Awe often sound like..  Can you believe this?  How the hell did this happen to me?  Awe is a concept scripted in movies, where they tell the character pinch me Im dreaming.  I often pinch myself mentally.  Biting my cheeks so I dont release my boyish smile as I find myself with the minds of the great ones, working in the realm of purpose and vision.  Operating though the mission of one and the intentions of many is a gift from the Awe.  

This feeling of Awe reminds me of my spiritually constantly.  It seems my soul knows all the answers, and I like many, am constantly searching for answers, searching for clarity is my pursuit of a path. 

I like to look at my life through a third persons perspective.  This perspective knows me more than anyone. Its more self aware than I am, more self conscious and more realistic.  This is the person who felt the pain; this is the person who had everything taken away.  My Observer is what I call him.  He has this perspective on me that is more aware and hes constantly whispering in my ear..  Can you believe this experience you are having?  You should thank God, for where you are, who you are with and what you have.  Can you believe that you are living the dreams of others?  My Observer keeps me grounded.  Hes the one who keeps me true to myself, my ego in check, my discontent alive, the one who keeps me growing and the one who forces me to admit when I am wrong.  Hes the main reason for my success.  He grew up beside me, witness to all and testament to my awe of today. . 

City to City I travel greeted by thousands of people that have traveled across the country to learn what I have to teach.  That in its self is an experience that generates some mental pinching and cheek biting.  Being that my past was mostly experiences where my worlds and actions were not positively recognized.  I was misdiagnosed until 18 years old.  My cure was inspiration and mentorship.  A boost of confidence, a standard to follow and a role model.  Once I got that, I was on my way. 

Yes, I have attention deficit disorder; yes I'm obsessive and occasionally compulsive. Yes I have mild dyslexia.  But Ive come to find that these labels are not the weakness once stamped on my child psychiatrists clinical notes, but rather my strengths.  These strengths are what have created my content.  My memories and my awe.  Disclaimer..  Im not writing these worlds to impress anyone.  For every strength there is a weakness equally as powerful and its my Observer that keeps me focused on personal growth.